A Fine Balance

Lately I've been finding myself muling over a number of aspects of my life. While some of these things are important, like my career, family and friends others are indeed not so much including finishing my monthly bookclub read and catching Modern Family. But regardless of its importance we all have these components that combine to form your life. So these days my thoughts have been focused on finding a way to get it all in without going out of my mind.

Before I go any further, this has very little to do with a certain recent return to work because as most of you know I never really left. This has been an ongoing quandry for more than a couple of months and in the final weeks of being on vaykay I found it increasingly difficult to achieve. Perhaps it was the holiday season that through it all out of wack but I'm not convinced that was the case. I'd be lying if I said that going back to the grind hasn't been a challenge but the fact is I know we've got a very sweet deal that's helping us out in more ways than one. In reality life is a balancing act that is a constant part of any conversation. It's your choice to throw (or not) as many balls in the air as you can handle so no one, myself included, can really complain. When I talk to other friends--some parents, some not--I seem to get varying degrees of agreement to my arguement that creating a balanced life really is important. Some folks consider their work to be a part of their social life so they don't miss catching up with friends outside the office others find that a weeknight sports league is a must and some would argue that school nights are to be spent with their families. Bottom line there is no right way it all depends on the individual person.

As my parents often said, I've always been someone who marches to her own tune and when it comes to achieving a balanced life it's no different. Some would call it stubbornness, I prefer to term it a fierce need for my own independence but either way I refuse to give up on doing things a little differnently. It's not as though anyone's telling me otherwise but it does seem to be getting increasingly difficult to strike a balance between life, love and livelihood. When I hear people say you need to prioritize I understand what they mean but often times it feels like they're saying something has got to give at some point. Over the past few weeks I've felt life pushing me to admit defeat only to find myself clawing my way back. In many ways I'm more dog-determined to keep all things big and small from going off track. Admittedly, I've let a few things, like writing here, go by the way side but that's not to say I'm okay with it. Instead I'm trying to focus on where I am now and what can be done to evenly weight the scales. It won't be easy but like with many things in life I'm refusing to believe it can't be done.

Have A Holly Jolly Christmas Even If You're Not Walking In A Winter Wonderland

Sometimes it's the little things that offer us comfort and joy. Strange though it may seem, nothing wraps me in warmth quite like a freshly fallen snow. When you grow up in a norther community it's fair to say that it just doesn't feel like Christmas time without the seasonal snow fall. But having experienced more than a few holidays down south I've grown acustomed to the fact that a green Christmas (as we are currently experiencing) is a distinct possibility if not an absolute. And it's not like you need a dumping of the white stuff to get in the spirit, but a light dusting would certainly go a long way to brighten up the city sidewallks. At the same time you can't argue that it's a whole lot easier to navigate the streets which makes spreading the spirit of the season (and enjoying a little more holiday cheer) all the merrier. Even still a green Christmas does take some getting used, but it's also a small reminder that everthing in life (even snow covered holiday seasons) are bound to change. Here's the thing that most of us forget, the holiday seaon really isn't about recreating the same holiday experience every year, but more about sharing the season with the ones you love. There's no reason you can't reclaim a few old traditions but it's also important to begin traditions of your own. It's also a time to dial yourself back and realize somethigns will never be the same again because it's out of your control. And even if you think Santa only travels by sleigh, it's important to realize that for some Santas public transit may truly be the better way. So whether are witnessing your first Christmas rainfall or you're currently snowed-in for the first time, here's hoping you're still having yourself a merry little Christmas time.

Simply Christmas

We all know the holiday season can bring on more than enough stress in our already crazy and some what frantic lives. Not that long ago this time of year was considered a break--time to kick back, relax and enjoy quality time with you nearest and dearest. It seemed back then that those closest to your heart were also not likely to get on your nerves, likely because you weren't fretting over what gifts to get or who hosted Christmas dinner. Sitting at church this evening, our celebrant shared a brief sermon yet he managed to hit it home by offering up pretty basic advice on how to enjoy a kinder, gentler Christmas by keeping it simple.

Santa, sleigh bells and reindeer aside, when you cut out the comercial, we really are celebrating a guy who had a pretty humble start in the world. In the midst of holiday hell it's pretty easy to forget the real reason we're all out to get the best gifts, extra food or decorate two trees. It hardly seems believable that such a simple event (baby in a manger) has snowballed into a frenzy of decking the halls without many of us remembering why the choirs of angels were singing in the first place. In any case, I hadn't intended to tred so heavily down the religious path--although I think I have--but I do think it's worth considering that getting back to the basics (dare I say, kicking back and relaxing) a little may in fact significantly improve your holiday experience.

A few weeks ago my brother mentioned that gifts really weren't important to him this year. Basically, he was just excited that he'd be spending the day with some of the people who mean the most to him. While I could go on about the fact that it's 'bout time, since he is 32 and all, I won't, but I will say that I couldn't agree more. Quite simply, it's the time you share and the memories you create with the ones you love that are your greatest gift. As I enjoying the last of a decent Merlot (along with a little stilton and baguette) I'm forgoing additional bows around gifts realizing I'd much rather be writing than tying, well, for the moment anyway. However you're celebrating Christams this year here's hoping you'll revel in the moment enjoying the simple joys of the season--afterall, Christmas does only happen once a year.

Christmas Meme

In the spirit of the season here's a quick meme with a few changes to what I've posted in years before, just to keep you all looking forward to the holidays.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Without question, paper all the way. Bows, gift tags and a small decorative ornament because really when you do it up, you've got to do it right. Plus who doesn't love getting more ornaments--or maybe that's just me?

2. Real tree or artificial? If you're torn, put two trees up I say. We do, well, actually that's to say I do. Well okay, I decorate after Steve secures the tree in the stands. Regardless after growing up with artifical trees I've got it in my head that my child must have the experience of a real tree, pine smell, neddles and all. I'm not sure why this is but I'm pretty certain this novelty will wear off at some point in which case we'll be down to one artifical--and pine scented potpouri.

3. When do you put up the tree? Begining of December for the artificial one then about mid-month for the real one. Real or not, when you do two trees you sort of need to do it in stages otherwise it seems more like you're spreading holiday chore than cheer.

4. When do you take the tree down? First week of January, before we all go back to work. But with all the needles it seems like we have it up much longer.

5. Eggnog or mulled cider? Toss up on this one. While you can spike both equally well, since nog is only available during the holiday season, that's usually my go to holiday beverage, even in my morning coffee.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Kodak Disk Camera.

7. Hardest person to buy for? My sis-in-law. I think I screw myself because I'm always trying to get a theme or heart-felt gift which sends me on a vicious round trip through holiday shopping hell.

8. Easiest person to buy for? My mom---ridiculous, she's happy with anything at all. Case in point, when I was six I got her scented paper to line her sweater drawers and a set of six satin padded hangers. To this day she will still list this as one of her favorite gifts!

9. Do you have a nativity scene? We inherited the one that I grew up with and it sits appropriately upon our liquor cabinet.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? To me there's nothing like finding a little real mail in the box so I'm still sending out. Although it's getting out a little later than I have in past years and it's a photo card still real mail and not the virtual variety. Either way, it's just sweet to know your family and friends are thinking about you durign the festive season.

11. How do you spend your Boxing Day watching the World Junior Tournament or shopping the sales? We're a hockey family so it's all about the tourney kick-off. Plus I'm not one to wait in line for deals no matter how good the sale.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Three way tie between Love Actually, Miracle on 34th Street and A Christmas Story.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Early November. While it's practical to shop through out the year it never feels right until at least the temperature drops.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Hrrmm, no, well, maybe. Does recycling a gift you got for someone else but then bought too many gifts for that person and not enough for another count?

15. Favorite Christmas confection? Santa JubJubs, After Eight Mints and Magic Cookie Bars.

16. Coloured or white lights on the tree? White, always white, makes the rest of the tree stand out and allows you to change your tree theme more easily. Yes, I know, even my trees have a theme!

17. Favorite Christmas song? River as sung by Robert Downy Jr. quickly following The Christmas Song by Nat King Cole.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Both. But this year for the most part we're traveling within the GTA thanks to Marilyn making her first ever foray into holiday traveling!

19. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer? Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Doner, Blitzen and Rudolph!

20. Best pop-culture Christmas icon the Grinch or Frosty? Frosty--he's got all that magic! Plus we all know that Dr. Seus is just annoying.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? One on the Eve, maybe your holiday P.J.s and the rest at some point on Christmas Day. Or if you're in our family, you extend Christmas to include opening on Boxing Day too.

22. Stocking Stuffers or Presents Under the Tree? Given the choice I'd go with stuff in my stockings. It's the little things that make it fun to root through your stocking. Or maybe it's just that I like the illusion of getting lots of stuff.

23. Favorite ornament, theme or colour? The four my Baba brought back from Disney World in 1979--nothing says Christmas like Mickey in a Santa Hat. Snowman theme and silver for my colour.

24. Favorite Christmas add campagin? Usually I'm a fan of the GAP but this year I've rather enjoyed the holiday print and T.V. ads for Joe.

25. What do you want for Christmas this year? Like my brother has said, it'll just be great to celebrate with family and friends. Unlike my brother if Santa's listening, I would like an iPhone, digital camera and a gift card from Sephora for the stocking!

Pizzelle's Are Not An Easy Bake

When you bake your first batch of muffins (from a recipe you memorized while baking with your grandmother) then follow up with your first cake a few months later all by the time you're 10 years old, you're bound to become a pretty confident baker. Baking especially has an intrinsic creative appeal that draws some while leaving others feeling way out of their element. For me the kitchen was alwasy a santuary, a creative haven filled with unexplored culinary adventures. In fact, I've always believed that my passion for baking must be similar to how an artist would feel about sculpting. While it's not always an easy venture, a vanilla scented kitchen, a perfectly puffed pastry or simpy someone enjoying a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies are often reward enough.

As a kid Christmas meant that Marilyn would be propelled into flurry of baking and candy making activity. While the Christmas tree, lights and decor signified the spirit of the holiday season for most of us, without the aroma of freshly baked cookies, bars and walnut bread it just didn't seem the same. Early in December my mom's kitchen became a virtual bakery--shelves stocked with chocolate, coconut, butter and confectionier's sugar--all awaiting their magical transformating. Where most kids probably never ventured into their kitchen, the few that did were often promptly shuffled out, in my house the kitchen was a place for learning, sharing and when my Baba was around--the occasional dramatic mother-daughter arguement. Marilyn's Christmas bake shop ran at a hectic pace but when you're baking about 20 plus varieties you've gotta keep it moving or you'll be more than half-baked yourself. Yet even the ovens (two in our house) chronically cranked to 350F I wasn't detured and quite possibly it's what kept me intrigued.

According to most people, either you're a baker or a cook. Whenever I talk to friends most confess to having no interest (or idea) about baking. Quite simply, baking is so specific (bordering on scientific) they couldn't possibly be bothered to learn the craft. While you can improvise with poultry seasoning substituting cilantro for corriander, substituing baking soda for baking powder will not give you the same cake. To be perfectly honest, until recently I'd never really given it all that much consideration, the way I see it, if you can read a recipe you can cook AND bake it's that simple. But as with anything, even a twenty five year home baker can realize it's really not as easy as it looks. After years of baking everything from basic brownies to traditional family Christmas cookies I figured I could handled my first batch of pizzelle. This traditional Italian waffle cookie is by far my favorite yet because I didn't aquire a pizzelle maker until this summer I had never made my own. Armed with my grandma Boschetto's famed recipe I whipped up the batter, heated the iron and began what I had hoped to be yet another rewarding baking experience. Needless to say, sixty cookies later (and still half the batter in the bowl) I had yet to create a single snowflaked shaped cookie remenicent of the ones that grandma had made. Maybe it was something I'd missed in the recipe or the type of waffle iron, either way I'm not entirely sure what happened. That's the thing with baking, good or bad, sometimes it's all a little bit of an unsolved mystery--that is until your next adventure. Partly, it's the magic of a creative process that keeps some of us intrigued if not eager to explore a new dimention (or a different recipe) only to find it's exactly right.

Here's To Thirty-Five & Beyond

"Thirty-five?", he said in a tone that indicated he was surprised yet his jerky eyebrow raise made it quite clear that it was not in a good way. And if you think I'm jumping too fast, when he further tried to explain simply by stating that his current hottie girlfriend was twenty-three you pretty well understood that thirty-five year olds were not anywhere near his radar. At that moment, there was nothing more I wanted than to whip his shit eating grin off his obviously spray-tanned face. And if I happened to simultaneously obliterate every one of those perfectly aligned pearly whites in just one blow, meh, all the better I say. While you might say I'm being a bit violent here (and I'll admit I am) the guy was just egging me on. It was kind of like he knew he could get me going with a mere tonal inflection and I'm sure the drastic change in my expression pretty well confirmed I'd be quite easy to get going. When you're just introduced to someone, taking a cocky tone is one thing but when you add in the total package I was presented with, that's a whole different story. That being said, he's probably a way nice guy who I was giving a really bum deal. If I'd met him in a different setting this probably would have gone in a whole other direction, afterall, he is from Sault Ste. Marie on that alone I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. But situations being as it was, here's how it all went down--well, really not that dramatic--but still.

Guys like that, meaning this guy definitely was "THAT GUY" I try my best to avoid because for women like me, the sarcastic smart-assed variety, no good will come from engaging in a battle of will and wit. Even though it's fun and sometimes a source of entertainment for me, most days I'm just not up for the push-pull that's required of such interactions. It's good that I've come to be a little more self-aware, had he got me ten years ago, he'd be toothless right now and I'd probably be locked up somewhere. See what I mean by no good? But he's right, I'm old (if not a little wiser) and I remembered where I was, who I was with and the fact that I didn't want the night to end in such a violent way. That being said, occasionally you do come face-to-face, in some cases introduced (as I was at a good friend's birthday dinner last weekend) forcing you to just man-up and deal. Beyond the fact that this guy seemed like a dear in the head lights with my admission to being a whopping 35 years of age, what struck me most was that we were celebrating my girlfriend's impending 35th! One might hazard a guess that at least a few guests would also be within the thirty-something range. Sure we're not in high school any more so the chances that all your friends are your exact same age is pretty slim. But even if not a single one of us was pushing thirty, somehow he had missed the fact that we were all there because my friend was celebrating (and so she should be) her 35th.

It's not so much that I was irritated that some random guy made it perfectly clear that thirty-five was in fact way old. Really it isn't even that he'd have no interest in dating a thirty-five year old himself. What got me was his reaction illustrated just how much of a deal aging is for the female collective. Mostly it takes THAT GUY to offer up those true statement that as a woman you just really don't want to hear. But let's make it clear, this isn't just a one-sided deal. No matter what THAT GUY is dishing out it takes hearing those comments (or reading his expressions) a certain way to make you consider lying about your age--even if only for a second. It's funny because I'm sure if I'd asked THAT GUY his age (I'd peg him about 32-35 himself) he'd probably never flinch. But even if he did, he'd likely swing a punch or two at himself, flash the pearly whites and we'd all have a laugh about it. In reality it's all how you choose to handle the situation. Though it pains me to admit, in some ways, guys probably deal with it better. For the most part a little public self-mockery makes them golden even if they're quietly stifling their sobs in that damn tanning bed. As I turned to Steve (and away from THAT GUY) I really wanted to tell him he shouldn't worry he'd be here one day too, if he was lucky. It's a funny thing getting older, we all want to, let's face it the alternative isn't so great and yet we don't want to.

The Truth Is It Hurts Even If We Ask For It

Kaffee: I want the truth!
Col. Jessup: (shouts) You can't handle the truth!
(A Few Good Men, 1992)

Man I loved that movie so much I saw it four times while it was in the theatre. Plus with Jack, Tom, Keifer, Kevin and Demi it had a fantastic cast of charaters to boot! Beyond being one of the last solid flicks Tom ever made, the movie makes my all time favorite list for succinct dialogue that's just bang on. While Jack Nicholson's character delivered some hard hitting lines nothing could more explicitly truthful as those five single words.

When was the last time you told the truth? Better still, when was the last time you heard the truth? The simple truth is most of us don't like what we hear when we get it. In fact, as Jack said, many of us couldn't handle the truth even when we ask for it. Not too long ago a friend asked me if I had anyone with whom I could be totally, completely, unequivocally honest and who would also in return share their brutally honest opinion when solicited. Before sloughing him off with my usual quick, "Of course," response, I paused. Now before Marilyn goes right off the deep end, days before coming to stay with us for three weeks, this isn't about family but more about friends. Even if we are talking about family, let's be honest, we all try to spare each others feelings. At least from time to time we try, or some of us do anyway, that basically means that sometimes we check total honesty at the door in favour of validating the other persons feelings or simply lending a listening ear. That out of the way, I'll get back to my original point. So in response to my pals question, all I came up with was a half truth as I referenced a couple of my close gal pals with whom I know I've been brutally truthful because I've been told and in return they've graciously bestowed their no-holds-barred colour commentary.

Getting the truth really is a gift but most of don't see it that way. While no one wants to exist in a world of perpetual sunshine it's way easier to dole out half-truths and small lies than it is to dish the goods when you know that it won't be what the person wants to hear. I'm not sure who we are sparing more, ourselves or the other person because in some cases we end up doing a grave disservice to both. In fact, because we're probably sugar coating at least some of what we're selling, we have become accustomed to the sweetness rather than the reality that sometimes, life and those in it, can be a little bitter sweet...and that's okay. When you think about it, if we were really used to getting the truth from our family, friends and co-workers we'd probably all be much better off or at the very least, have developed a much thicker skin. Either way, we would likely be much better equipped to handle and return those harder hits. I've never been one to mince words and I've always much rather preferred the straight truth--hurting and all--because at least I know who I'm dealing with. But I found out pretty quickly that's not always the best way to go across the board. That's not to say we should all go around blowing sunshine when we're asked how we really feel but it doesn't hurt to temper your response. In fact, sometimes it's more about how you package the truth that cuts the blow of the message you're delievering.

Reality is, social interactions just aren't that simple. Unless you want to alienate your entire network of friends you have to know when and how to dish our the real deal or at least that's how it is with women. Guys I'm told are a different story. Basing their male bonds on the grounds of brutal truth, honesty and integrity, or so they say, I seriously doubt that's always the case. Going back to my friend who asked me about the truth found in my friendships I was surprised to discover that a single army of one could be called upon for a dose of a no b.s. reality check. Guess when it comes down to it, truth is not everyone really wants it.

Comfortably Secure

Early on I realized that pretty well nothing was guarunteed. Life owed you nothing so much so that you could never really be sure what exactly was around the corner. Before I go off on an unintended philisophical tanget here, I'll cut to the chase: you can only do so much to control what life ultimately has in store for you. Generally speaking, while most of us will agree that life can be unpredictable, many of us don't seem to feel the same about what they do for a living. It's a strange sense of security when your livelihood is one part of your life therefore also subject to said unpredictability. In fact, there are those who would argue their jobs are so secure they'd bet their life on it. While there's no doubt that an uncontested sense of security must be a nice cozy feeling, akin to wrapping yourself in your childhood blankie, I'm not buying what their selling.

Once you've had the rug swiped out from under you it's tough to feel a sense of security, no matter how glowing your quarterly review. While some may get the sense I'm focusing on the negative, I'm choose to to consider the simple reality that everyone is replaceable. We're not talking about the rare and highly irreplaceable quantumn-mechanics-physicists-types but (sorry to burst your bubble) you, me and the majority of this planet really are about as replaceable as that Starbucks cup that's currently lining your wastebasket. Okay, so perhaps that's a little harsh I'll admit, but my point is that no one should feel they're above being replaced by the next guy in line. Frankly, knowing there's a guy waiting should keep you on your toes and even give you that little boost of fear that ultimately keeps you at the top of your game. After all, just because you can be replaced, doesn't mean you have to be.

Even if we hadn't been entrenched in knee-deep recession mode this past year, organzations are forever searching for ways to maximize their resources. From nixing office expenses to axing staff, cutting costs has always been the key focus. But while your desk could easily make do without a stapler, you're probably not so comfortable with giving up your desk not to mention your cubicle. The unfortunate reality is that in true here-one-day-gone-tomorrow fashion, your job can become a thing of the past. It's a sad reality that doesn't make being jobless any easier and I can say this because I lived it. But that also doesn't mean you have to live in perpetual fear with an empty box stashed beneath your desk, it does mean you should be aware of your surroundings and it doesn't hurt to even be a little prepared. Conducting an job search may be on the backburner while you're employed but you should always have enough fire to fuel your dreams. While you'll never know how you'll respond if you do happen to lose your slot on the nine-to-five circut having a cloud to land on will make it a little easier. I'm not talking about padding your Swiss bank account, that would be nice but that's probably not a reality for any of us. Instead it's not a bad idea to gather some concept of what you would do if you had to start over again. New beginnings are never easy but they do offer a fresh start and if you spin it right it could be the best thing that's ever happened. While it's easy to get comfortably entrenched in our lives, it's only when life gives us a shake that we really find out what we're made of. Ultimately, when you look back on where you've been, how you survived and how much farther you can go, well, that's exactly where you'll find you are without question or doubt the most secure.

Detailed Observations

When I walked into the room he looked familiar but there always is someone in a room of strangers who I think I know from somewhere so I don't really give it much pause for thought. Sitting in front of him, I'm staring at his reflection in the television thinking he looked like an older version of a kid I grew up with but figuring that was impossible. In any case, after hearing his first name I knew it had to be him and I gave an interanl laugh because it was a lifetime ago and I was sure he was clueless.

Lots of friends, including my husband, think I'm lying whenever I hearken back to my early childhood. Quite possibly it seems inconceivable that I could remember an exactly moment in time when I was, say, about six years old, dressed as Ms. Clause rocking in a chair as the curtain rose on my grade one play--The Sulky Brownines. For years I thought everyone carried around these snapshots in their minds. Who doesn't remember their grade one play? But then I started recognizing the strange look from friends (or worse aquaintances) whenever I'd reference exactly how I felt as an eight year old kid. More recently Steve's flat out mocking (complete with eyes rolling into the back of his head) when I'd recount the details of the first day I stood on an ice rink in a pair of skates--at the time I was three. It's true, I have a strange, quirky and wildly weird ability to recall the most painstaking details from my life. It doesn't happen all the time, it's actually quite random which makes it all the more odd--even to me. While I've long since realized this and since Steve accepted that I'm a quack, I hadn't given much recent thought to this quirkiness--until last week.

I'd never really considered what sort of random knowledge I had about the lives of anyone else beyond myself and those closest to me. But I've had this happen before--maybe you have too. Situations where you walk into a restaurant or onto a subway car and recognize someone. Most of the time I'm not certain they'd know me, so I keep my distance. Instead I usually wonder if they realize that we have a sort of mild to moderate connection, that our lives intersected at one time or if they even think I'm familiar. Sometimes I may even call to mind a few details that reminded me of why I knew them. But this time, for some reason, I decide to confirm it was actually the guy I sort of knew. As luck would have it, the person I'm confirming this with happens to think it is very cool that we're from the same city and went to the same elementary school. Admittedly, it does kind of make me laugh since I grew up in a city of 80 000the chances you'd run into someone from your home town, never mind your elementary school, in downtown Toronto are pretty much nil. Having said that I agree to let her introduce us because maybe he'd think it was kind of cool too. As I said, when you're from a small city it's always fun to find other kids who grew up where you did. But who expects to hear you went to the same elementary school as someone? When I told him where I recognized him from he was stunned because let's be honest, at 30-something, you're probably not getting many random people making that way back connection.

But even when I gave him my last name, it was pretty clear that dude had no clue as to who I was--and I can't even pretend that I'm surprised. After all that, I thought I'd give this guy (who totally didn't know me) an even further reason to think I'm a little bit stalker. So there I am, telling him specifically on which street he grew up in our neighborhood (just down from Ron Francis' parents) tossing in the fact that his dad was a cop but somehow stopping before I blurted out that he was the first police officer I remember meeting because he visited out kindergarten classroom just after Easter--um, see what I mean? As you can probably imagine, at this point he is clearly spooked, freaked and a little wigged out. Frankly, who could blame him? Had I tripped any further down memory lane with him I'm sure he may have even wondered if we'd ever dated. After all, how else would I know that he was once a school crossing guard? Quite honestly, it appeared I had more memories of his childhood than he did. Was I a stalker who crushed on this guy? Negative--as were my feelings of him as a child. Truthfully, I never really liked the loud mouthed boy who never seemed at a loss for annoying jokes or stupid teasing behaviour--both the result of being the youngest of four boys. In fact, as I sat in church every Sunday, I couldn't help but wonder how this guy could carry the cross down the aisle without shooting the priest a wise remark. But then I just figured that the church service was all part of his penance for poor behaviour.

Long before I knew what people watching was I had always enjoyed the daily interactions of others. In part, I'd always felt like everyone else was having a much more exciting life and even if they weren't I was fueling my imagination with the lives they might one day lead. Whether I was paying attention to a conversation between my parents or watching a crew of older children play basketball as a kid I was always pretty observant. As I learned, when you're one of the quite ones it's easy to go virtually unnoticed which means you're privy to much more than most would realize. Most of us were probably playing with carefree abandon rather than making mental notes of random details from the lives of kids they barely knew. Now I realize it all makes me seem like a pretty strange, reclusive kid so I'm not even going to try and tell you that wasn't the case. It's funny what we remember and even more curious why we do--or maybe that's just me. While I haven't any productive use the knowledge about my former schoolmate's life our encounter makes me realize that my curiosity about our lives began a long time ago--before I even noticed I was watching.